The Worst Nightmares Are Boring // VOID-STAR.NET

If there’s one thing I loathe about being an adult it’s having adult nightmares.

Look, brain, if you absolutely must make my subconscious tremble in terror I’d appreciate it if you could at least do it with something cool. Like zombies. Remember when you made me find that dead body in the bathroom? Hung from the ceiling, dripping blood into a hole left by some removed tiles, eyes stuck to the wall behind? Now that was cool. Terrifying, but the kind of thing I can use.

Thing I do not appreciate having nightmares about include, but are not limited to:

• Exams and essays. I’ve been out of uni for years now and I still get nightmares about missing these. Nowadays they all focus on someone retrospectively realising I missed x class and rescinding my degree, causing me to lose my job. Not only is this totally not cool, but is also extremely stupid;
• Fighting with Mat. Waking up stressed is one thing, waking up sad is worse;
• Car accidents. I’ve actually been in a car accident, of course, but my car nightmares all focus on me as the at-fault party, thanks to careless driving. It’s also rarely ever my car; and
• Bureaucracy.

That last one’s new, as of last night, and I think marks the first time I’ve been specifically stressed over work rather than university. The dream involved having to write a briefing note for the Minister regarding some contract back-out clause, due right now, and me not being able to find the relevant legislation to cover it. I kept thinking I should call mum (“Mum will know. Mum knows all this stuff.”) but didn’t, and the day kept getting later and later and the note wasn’t written and—

Christ, it doesn’t even work like that. I mean, it really, really doesn’t.

The worst part? Waking up realising that, after all those hours spent stressing about work, I now had to get dressed so I could go to work.

Fuck you, subconscious.

You know what this post needs? A recipe.

There’s this dish I make when I’m too lazy to make real food, appetizingly called Fishy Rice, it’s kind of a paella thing. Main ingredients; rice, chilli, fish. Note that I never measure anything out, so just assume unless otherwise specified all ingredient portions are “to taste”.

Dee’s Fishy Rice

Ingredients

• Butter
• Chilli oil
• 1 white or brown onion, diced
• Garlic, crushed or minced
• 1 chilli, chopped
• Rice
• Salt and pepper
• 1 can of crushed tomatoes
• 1 medium tin of tuna in chilli oil
• 1 large tin of tuna in brine
• Hondashi
• Chicken or fish stock, liquid

Directions

1. Using a high-walled frying pan or wok, melt a decent-sized knob of butter with a splash of chilli oil.
2. Add the onions and garlic, and fry until browned.
3. Add the chilli, stir some more.
4. Add a few cups of rice.
5. Stir the rice until it’s thoroughly soaked with the oil, adding a dash of salt and pepper.
6. Add the tin of tomatoes. Stir through.
7. Add the tins of tuna. Brine and oil goes in too. If your chilli tuna contains actual chillies, chop them up and add them.
8. Mix it all up, yo.
9. Throw in some hondashi. Stir.
10. Add the stock until the rice is covered by about a centimetre.
11. Bring the pan to the boil, then cover and turn the heat down.
12. Leave to simmer for about 20-40 minutes, until the rice is soft and cooked and the liquid has evaporated.
13. Om nom nom!

Delicious.

Oh, and apparently I’m not dying; all test results came back normal. No idea what was wrong with me, then, but… meh. Good news and all that.