I mean, sure, it would make much more sense to join an established group in order to make friends and access resources and all that, but reading about the base system kinda, um, broke me. It’s a level editor, man! How could I resist?

So I took myself down to the registrar in Port Oakes (whom I’d conveniently encountered earlier in my career) and after much hemming and hawing finally registered Praxis.¹ Now Laucian is the C.E.O. of a semi-legitimate (for the Rogue Isles, anyway) technology company operating out of Aeon City. Officially, Praxis specialises in robotics, nanotechnology and philanthropic projects. Unofficially, the Praxis Group – the ‘underground’ arm of the company – specialises in the, ahem, acquisition and re-appropriation of technology, bleeding-edge bio-engineering and “urban renewal” by force. Rannos is also interested in branching out into the study of so-called “magic” phenomena, and is currently in the process of acquiring relevant skills and relics in that field.

I nagged Random to join, and that coupled with a couple of levels worth of Prestige grinding later, the Praxis base now has a Control Room and (gasp) a Worktable. Which, of course, is the real reason for this whole project; I got sick of flying back to Cap every time I wanted to make something. Now comes the hard part, though; everything from here on in starts getting expensive. Still, the base editor is fun. It’s like a MMORPG meets The Sims; why does every game not have one of these!

Meanwhile, I’ve been rolling alts; because the character editor is still awesome. Morgan Xu is my Magic Defender main Hero on Infinity. She has Dark Maisma/Radiation Blast and a dorky back story involving ancient dragon gods and magical transformations. Paragon City is way different to the Rogue Isles, mostly just for population’s sake; there are players everywhere. It’s the Alliance/Horde split all over again, which I suppose makes sense. It’s cool to have random highbies buff you all the time just for walking around, but… I dunno. I still I still like CoV better. I gotta get Lau to 50 first before I start playing Morgan seriously, of course. So ask me again in a couple of months.

The other thing that’s going on at the moment is that whole Rikti Invasion thing. I have to admit I think this is another mechanic that Co* gets right. The Rikti – like a bunch of other outdoor bosses – have this scaling level mechanic thing. So when an army spawns on top of you, your lowbie level 13 guy can fight alongside a bunch of level 50s and not get totally slaughtered. You also don’t seem to get death penalty for being killed during these events, which is nice (as I found out multiple times trying to get close to one of the dropships for a screenshot). I’ve had two Rikti experiences thus far. A bunch spawned on top of me and Random in Port Oakes, and another set landed on Ms. Liberty when I was trying to train Morgan up to Big Bad Level 4 (Ms. Liberty, I should note, did not assist in fighting the Rikti off; lazy big-name ‘heroes’).

And finally, for the lulz: Never the Bride. A wedding-themed Dominator with the power to control plants. Her M.O. is crashing weddings and having the bouquets attack the guests. That’s some quality villainy right there.

1. Website T.B.A. at the time of writing. The link’s mostly for Google. ^

I liked it. For a couple of reasons, but I guess if I’m being completely honest the main reason I liked it was because, hey, it’s the X-Files! That show was, like, my life from about ‘94 to ‘99. I had diaries and trading cards and novels and, damn. It was probably the first thing I was ever a fan of. (Not that I’ve ever been in the fandom; I only tend to fen stuff I have Issues with, but that’s another post.)

But the film?

Okay, I’ll get the stuff I didn’t like out of the way first.

1. I don’t think IWTB ‘works’ as a movie. As an extended episode of the show, yes. As a film, no. If you’re not already fan I think the film is completely inaccessible, and actually quite unapologetic about that fact. It’s something for the fans (q.v. Skinner’s cameo), and I’m okay with that.
2. Too much time was spent aboard the Crapplot Explaintrain. Maybe I’m just over-sensitive to this after recent forays into one particular SV re-write fanfic ( unreckoned) that had a tendency to dip into episode dialogue which, when settled in alongside the author’s writing, hung heavy and full of awkward exposition. IWTB had a lot of this kind of expository dialogue, coupled with a bunch of ill-written “deep” conversations. And, okay, there was a bunch of plot stuff that needed to be covered but, seriously guys; show, don’t tell, okay?

And the stuff I did?

1. The relationship between Mulder and Scully. Oh. My. God. It’s not the fact that they’re a couple. It’s the fact that, well, they’re a couple without that being a relevant plot point. It’s a type of relationship we almost never see outside of, like, comedy sitcoms and I applaud whoever’s idea this was for having the guts to pull it off. I mean, about the only other example I can think of is between I-can’t-spell-Alison-correctly and her husband… Joe (I think) from Medium. So Mulder and Scully sleep together but they’re still, yanno, Mulder and Scully. They still call each other Mulder and Scully (in bed!) and, damn, that’s just so perfect. This is the most romantic romance I’ve ever seen on the screen because it’s just so… there. And things aren’t perfect and they still fight and disagree with each other but that’s the whole point. I love it.
2. Doctor Scully!
3. Mulder. He’s a) obsessive, b) quite obviously broken and c) a total damsel-in-distress. So we get our driven!Mulder and action!Mulder but, at the end of the day, he still has to be saved by Scully (and Skinner in a “lolfanservice!” moment). Hell, Mulder is being saved every day by Scully. And, yeah okay, I can think of the anti-feminist spin on this but, damn, it’s still refreshing to see the trope reversal anyway.
4. No mytharc. Yeah, “Anasazi” was great but, really, I always liked the show better when it was about the MotW.
5. The plot. What can I say? Secret evil experiments are a TV-trope fetish of mine…
6. Adults having adult conversations about difficult issues to which there are no easy answers. Okay, a lot of the dialogue in these bits was awkward but still, kudos for the attempt. Because I am so sick of easy answers and obvious villains.

So, yeah. I can’t say I’d recommend this film to everyone, but I think if you were a fan of the show and go into the cinema thinking, “I’m off to watch The X-Files!” rather than, “I’m off to watch a movie!” then you should at least have some fun.

For old time’s sake.

Why so serious?

Because, damn, this is one serious motherfucker of a film. In as far as I can tell when it comes to cinema, this is a good film. The writing is tight, the plot is near-flawless (though not completely) and every single member of the cast puts in an absolutely stunning performance. But.

But. This is a good film but it’s not an enjoyable film. Not by a long shot. And I think TDK is going to… surprise a lot of people, and not necessarily in a good way. Because people like you and me? We know about the DARKER and EDGIER Batman. We know about Killing Joke and Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth and about Batman: Year One and The Long Halloween and Dark Victory and all the rest. But those people? The ones out there? They don’t know. They don’t even suspect, and these are the people who are going to drag their kids along to yet another superhero flick, expecting to see a live-action version of the cartoons their kids watch on Saturday mornings, and they’re going to get… this.

And it’s funny, because there’s almost no gore for the entire film; no blood, no guts. But the film is violent; brutally so. And it’s intense. It’s so intense, in fact, that I spent a great deal of it hiding under ~Mat [h]’s arm. And even worse than all of that is the fact that nothing. Good. Happens.

Nothing.

Okay, maybe one tiny thing, right near the end, but for the most part watching TDK is like getting punched in the face for three hours with DARKER and EDGIER. People keep pointing out throughout the film that things are “darkest before the dawn”. It’s foreshadowing, maybe, but if it is it’s foreshadowing for the third film in the series. Because TDK is just that; dark.

Look, I’ve gotten down all this far and I haven’t yet mentioned Heath Ledger. So here’s the part where I do that. Ledger burns in this film. He is completely physically and vocally unrecognisable; you are not watching him, you are watching The Joker, writ large in dirty purple wool and cracked greasepaint. This is not a Joker disfigured by a Freak Chemical Accident. This is a Joker who is just a freak. Completely human and utterly terrifying. He’s not s supervillain, he’s a psychopath. And like I alluded to above, this is not a Joker who is unfamiliar to any semi-serious DCU reader but it’s not a Joker that we’ve ever seen live-action before. I think the closest is probably very, very late-season Diniverse Joker; and even that’s just skimming the surface.

He’s very, very hard to watch. And, see, there’s this thing you hear floating around; actors love playing villains. It’s like this… thing, when you’re a Srs Actor, apparently. A story is only as good as its villain, and watch most actors in this space and, yeah, they’re having fun. You can tell.

Ledger is not having fun.

It wasn’t immediately apparent when I was watching, but in retrospect… yeah. He’s not having fun. There are a couple of scenes where, I think, he should be (outside the hospital particularly), but the whole thing feels… hollow. And the thing is, I think this works for the performance. Ledger’s Joker is cold and empty; his smile is painted on and cut in so he affects this clown persona, but the laughter – no matter how crazed – never touches anything beneath the surface.

It works, but… this is where I stop that line of thought.

So. I was going to say some stuff about the Harvey/Rachel plot which I think is probably the film’s weak-point but… after reliving all that I think I need to go do something cheerful instead.

How about talking about the iPhone?

A couple of people have asked about it, so here’s the deal; it’s an 8 GB and I pay $41 a month for $20-something worth of calls and 250 MB of data. Pretty much the one thing I don’t use my phone for is making phonecalls – I hate the phone and avoid using it if at all possible – and the main reason I wanted an iPod was so I could keep a mobile email device in my pocket.

The thing people seem to want to know is whether or not it’s as functional as Apple makes out, and I have to admit that so far I’ve got very few complaints. I use a MacBook, of course, so it interfaces brilliantly with iCal and Address Book. It flawlessly imported all my email account settings from Mail (though not the messages themselves; use IMAP for that, though I don’t… yet). Its Exchange Outlook Mobile Access – that’s Microsoft’s corporate answer to BlackBerry – is simple to set up and works smoothly. The web browser is surprisingly good, as is the keyboard once you get used to it (plus its typo self-healing ability is a godsend). It snaps easily onto WiFi connections and uses these wherever it can, and I set myself a cool wallpaper (very important; it's Laucian, incidentally).

The things that bother me include its lack of a decent multi-protocol chat client (I’m using one at the moment that’s AJAX-based, but of course it doesn’t run in the background), the weird fact that you can’t use MP3s as ringtones unlike every other phone made for the last five years, the two-finger zoom control, and some of the configuration options – particularly for adding multiple email accounts – being a bit obtuse. It’s also doesn’t have a camera flash, and therefore no flashlight (the other thing I use my phone for on a regular basis), but you can get a free application that duplicates this feature through the high-tech solution of turning your screen completely white.

So, do I think it’s worth it? Hell yeah! Sure, it’s the most over-hyped piece of kit in years and a lot of people are going to hate it for that alone, but I’d bet my villain cape that it’s going to do to the mobile phone/PDA market what the iPod did for portable music…

Speaking of my villain cape… Laucian now has one! Double XP weekend means he’s now a grand Level 25; that’s totally like halfway to endgame! So now he’s got a cape, an alternate costume and five robot Henchmen (I get my final one next level). Plus I figured out how to make free money on the Black Market (slowly, but it’s easy pocket-change).

Not to mention that on Sunday, randomredux and I totally teamed up for some groups smashings, and I have to say that the Malefactor/Lackey system is awesome. Plus Lau now has a back-story and a supporting cast… but more on them later.

Life is good.

“Sewers. Why does it always have to be sewers?”

The bots, of course, don’t answer. They’ve been programmed not to respond to existentialist rhetoric. That whole extreme-literal response thing is only amusing the first fifty times. Besides, there are more pressing matters at hand. “Captain Science, make a note: Design new utility-based costume.”

“Rgr-rgr.”

The cream linen suit might look commanding to the peasantry, but toxic waste is such a bitch to dry clean.

Day 2: CoV still fun. Even counting the fact that I got stuck on a stupid Mission wandering around a roped-off area of Paragon City looking for stupid drop boxes. It took me over an hour. Ultimately I just ended up killing every single Longbow on the map, making one whole level, then flying around aimlessly (JETPACK!) for another fifteen minutes or so before finally, finally, just randomly running into the final box.

Somewhere in there I managed to fill up my entire Salvage inventory, and when I ported to the Vault at Pocket D I realised I’d completely filled that, too. So I hauled myself off to Devil’s Hat to find this so-called “University” and maybe make something of all those Invention Recipes I kept picking up. I ended up finding the place (and not getting my lowbie ass mugged by all the level 17-ish mobs) only to be saddened by my lack of Infamy and therefore inability to make anything.¹

Next door to the Uni is the Black Market, so I tripped over there to sell some of my ill-gotten goods. The auction system in CoV is kinda weird, and I think I still don’t really “get” it, but either way I managed to accidentally make something like fifty grand in about five minutes. I think the most I’d previously ever seen was about six, so feeling pretty chuffed with my new-found wealth I pulled my auctions and went back to the University where I crafted a whole boatload of Level 15 Invention Enhancements to replace my apparently significantly less effective Level 10++ ‘regular’ Enhancements.

Also: Being able to craft something that’s actually useful for my level without farming mats for hours? Kinda novel, I have to say.

Anyway, I also pulled myself up to Level 12 last night and got myself my second tier of bots. So now Sir Shootsalot and Captain Science the Battle Drones have been joined by Rgr Rgr the Protector Bot.² I haven’t taken him out killing yet, but he was diligently erecting shields around everyone while we were sitting in town which is nice because it means I don’t have to any more.

Only two more levels and I get proper flight; MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

1. Also, none of the guys at the University would talk to me on account of me being too low level. BUT I SHOWED THEM! I FIGURED OUT THEIR GODDAMN INVENTION SYSTEM ANYWAY! MY GENIUS IS UNPARALLELLED MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ^
2. There you go, ~Mat [h]. ^